Parenting and Religion

As a mom, it is my job to make sure that when my kids go to visit friends, they are going to a safe place. I have been known to call parents and ask to meet them (much to the embarrasment of teens) before I would allow my kids to go to the house of a friend. Most often, this is received wellby parents. They understand and are more than willing to meet with me. There have been a couple of times when I have had to say no. This is very hard to do, but when I know there are things going on in the home that could potentially harm my children, or expose them to things they should be innocent of- I can’t let them be in that environment.
I always welcome their friends here- and to my astonishment, usually their friends are allowed to come here without their parents ever meeting, or even talking to me on the phone.
Some people assume that because we are in ministry, that their kids are safe here- and they are- but my point is that even in Christian families, there is often abuse.
One of my best friends when I was a young child, was being sexually assulted by her father, and I never knew it until we were adults. I spent a lot of time with her family. My parents knew them, and never suspected anything wrong either. They were Christians, attended church, and the mom was active in ministry. It turns out that they were very abusive, and the scars have lasted- the scars of abuse in children are carried into adulthood- making it more probable that they will also either be abusers, or be abused as adults.
So this mom prays. I pray for my kids when they are not with me- that they will be safe and not harmed in any way. I pray for the families of their friends- that they will be drawn to the Lord if they don’t know Him, and that their homes will be a havens of peace. I also don’t trust anyone easily. Knowing I was there, and didn’t know of the abuse makes me less trusting. Less trusting of my own judgement, and of myown sensitivity to those in pain. If I didn’t know my best friend was hurting- how do I know I would recognize it now?
I need to keep praying.
Bob Betzen, author of the “Radical Avenue” blog, has a very good article up about how the effects of domestic violence last;The Lasting Wounds of Domestic Violence.

domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assult, sexual abuse, parental responsibility