Parenting and Religion

Today is our first day of school. We are beginning by only someof us being home. Shawn is still in Brooklyn, and Danny went to work with Dan. Troy and Andy will be going with me to run errands, and take some friends who don’t have a car to the Dr.’s.
We always bring along flash-cards to use while we wait, and the boys love it!
Rachel is still sleeping. She likes to do things by the book. I mean she likes to use text books for her school work. Personally, I don’t like text books. I like living books, and try to use as many as possible with my younger kids, rather than or in addition to using text books.
We have a really cool book called “You Can Change The World”, by Jill Johnstone. It is written for kids to see how kids in other countries live, and what religions they practice. It tells how we can pray for them, and if they are persecuted if they are Christians. I will be doing a Country a week with my boys, and I expect to see them wanting to be prayerful and compassionate with other kids more often.
I better go, it is time for all our running errands and taking people places.
Off to our car-school (at least for today)>

My son Shawn (16), has been gone most of the summer, and boy…do I miss him.
Shawn is one of those teenagers who is just pleasant and fun to have around.
He makes me laugh, and when I am stressed he helps me relax.
It is hard letting kids grow and go, but it has to be done.
This was one of those type of summers.
Shawn decided to apply for a job at a Christian camp, and he worked 2 weeks there. He also went to camp for a week, and for a week of training.
Now he is in Brooklyn with my brother, and has been gone over a week. When he comes home it will be 2 weeks he has been gone.
When I tell people that I really miss Shawn, they automatically assume it is because he helps with the younger kids when he is home- and he does. But that is NOT what I am missing. I still have help, whether he is here or not.
What I am missing is the jokes, laughter, hugs, and weird sense of humor. I miss hearing him play guitar when I have asked him to take the trash out. I miss him arguing with his sister over the computer (well, maybe not that!). I miss Shawn.
I am thankful that I miss my kids when they are gone. I am also thankful that God gives me the grace to let them go.
Seeing them grow up, and letting them go- all with the grace of God.
It may not be easy, but it is important.

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday that takes place on the first Monday in September. The holiday began in 1882, originating from a desire by the Central Labor Union to create a day off for the “working man”. It is still celebrated mainly as a day of rest and marks the symbolic end of summer for many. Labor Day became a federal holiday by Act of Congress in 1894.[1] ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labor_Day)

Labor Day, the end of summer, a day of rest. I don’t mind the day of rest part, but I would love to hold onto summer a little longer. I can see the colors in the leaves for fall already, and we are making plans for fall activities. The stores are full of Halloween displays and candy.
School begins in 2 days, or next week if you are me and my homeschool kids.
We will do a couple of things this week, but get into the book work next week. For some reason it is hard for me to begin in the middle of the week.
Sometimes I decide to forget what is coming and concentrate on right now.
Right now we are planning a cookout at a friends house. I am making a Strawberry Jello cake, and we are going to be out in the wonderful sunshine, celebrating summer one more time- trying to get every moment we can out of this wonderful day.
Labor Day- an end of one season and the beginning of another.
Each beautiful and offering to please our senses.
Each going by way too fast.
Life in the Northeast is beautiful.

Yesterday I was driving home from the playground with my three youngest, when I said, “Boys, school starts next week”.
My 4 yr. old hollers “Oh Man!!”.
Danny, 10, says “What are you upset about, you don’t even have to do any school work.”
Andy and Troy then both began talking about not wanting to go to school.
Troy told me he loves being homeschooled, and he hopes he never has to go to school. Andy just said “I never want to go to school!”
Seeing my 4 yr. old, it is scary to think of sending him of to be with someone else all day every day. In our state he is legal kindergarten age. He will be 5 in November.
Thank God for the option to homeschool.
I know it isn’t for everyone, and I am not pushy about my convictions for homeschooling.
I am however opinionated and convicted that I am to do it.
A lot of people have the misconception that homeschoolers are weird, and sheltered from “real life”. Some people think there is no socialization.
Homeschooling is very social, and we have more oportunity to be in the real world with our kids- simply because we are with our kids.
Today we begin our homeschool Fall Soccer program. We go every Friday for 6 weeks. There are over 120 kids involved (last spring that was the amount anyhow), and 4 age groups, each with 2 coaches.
When the soccer program is done, we will begin our fall Co-op Classes. Parents volunteer to teach classes of about a dozen homeschooled kids. We have had classes such as “Red Cross First-Aide”, “Red Cross Babysitting”, “Automotive”, “Biology Lab”, “Fun With Math”, “Cooking”, “Sewing”, “Painting”, “Geography”, “Creative Writing”, “Health”, “Sign LAnguage”…..I could go on and on. Anything a parent or volunteer can teach well, can be offered as a course. Again, we have age appropriate courses, and 3-4 groups of ages.
When the homeschool choir performs they go to nursing homes.
I am looking forward to a great year of teaching my kids.
Now, to get ready for soccer….where are those shin-guards??

I took my 3 youngest kids to the playground last night.
When we pulled up, I saw a little boy, probably about 8 years old, with a BBgun (empty). He handed it to his dad, who was busy talking to people, and ran off to play.
A couple of minutes later, my 7 yr. old son came to me and told me there was a boy with a capgun who was pointing the gun at him and shooting.
I looked over, and the kid with the BBgun had gotten his gun back, and was chasing my kids around shooting at them.
Now, I don’t have anything against parents allowing their kids to have toy guns. My kids have them. But I do have a problem with kids pointing guns at other kids, especially if the other kids are not playing their game.
I decided to leave and took my kids to a different park.
Not 3 minutes after we got to the other park, Troy (7), ran over to my van, and told me the older kids were swearing at Danny (10), and trying to get him to fight.
I sent him to get his brothers, and we were going to leave.
When Danny got in the van, he told me the other kid had gotten in his face, and scared him…thinking he was going to get beat up or something.
He also told me the kid had threatened Andy (4) with a water bottle.
I was so angry!
I got out of my van, and approached the troublemaker.
He at first said “I didn’t say anything!”
I called him a liar, and told him he should be ashamed of himself. Coming to a playground and scaring little kids, threatening a 4 yr. old.
He suddenly changed his tune to “I’m sorry”.
I told him he should tell them he is sorry, so went to the van and apologized. Danny told him “You’re forgiven”, and he left.
I hope he won’t bully anymore, but I wonder what his home life is like.
I will probably never know, but I will pray for him.

I was talking to someone tonight (Tuesday), and was made aware of how important it is that we, as parents, do what we think is best for our children- no matter what someone else may think.
The person I talked to was telling me that she wants to send her daughter to a Christian school. She has seen a lot of stuff in the public schools that she doesn’t want her daughter exposed to, and she wants her in school for the social aspect as well as the acedemics.
She wants good influence, good friends for her, and good teachers with smaller classes.
The school she is thinking of sending her to has a reputation for being all of those things.
The problem is her father and her sister are telling her they think she should just send her to the public school.
My advice was to do what she thinks is best- regardless of what anyone else thinks.
I told her that ultimately she is responsible for the decisions she makes on her daughters behalf, and she needs to be sure she is doing what she believes is right.
How often do we as parents, seek advice from people, and do what they think rather than what we think we should do?
It is time to do what we know is right for our own kids- and who cares about the opinions of others?
If I had listened to others, I would NEVER have been a homeschooler.
I would have sent my kids to public school, and worried about all the things I would have to unteach them- as well as about how they were coping with life.
If I had listened to others, I would not have married my wonderful husband at the age of 17, or maybe not at all depending on what would have happened in that year.
If I had lsitened to others, I would not have breast fed my babies.
If I had listened to others- I would not have 5 of my 7 children, because after all, a boy and a girl is perfect right??
If I had listened to others, I would not have enjoyed watching my kids grow up as a stay home mom, because we need extra money to have “the good life”.
And finally; If I had listened to others, I would not be living the Christian life, knowing I am going to live in eternity in heaven, because “can you be sure of salvation?”
I am sure.
I am sure I did what I thought best, and I am happy I did it the way I did.
Life is not perfect, and every decision has a consequence.
I would not change my consequences, or my decisions.
No matter what you think.

I am sharing what I wrote on today’s Marital Talk Blog- Have a great day!!!

Today’s Quote:

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they
are always watching you.”
Robert Fulghum

It’s true, Children learn what they live. Every once in a while though, there will be someone who doesn’t live what they have seen as an example. Some people take what they have seen and learn from it, rather than live it.

As parents, our goal is to show our kids a good way of life. How to be in a marriage relationship and how to treat eachother. There are so many examples of how not to treat eachother- in themovies, TV, and even advice by well meaning experts.

Our goal (meaning mine and Dan’s), is to show them a better way.

When we see people who have no respect for eachother, or show disregard for eachother’s needs, wants and feelings- whether on TV or in real life- we know the kids who are watching them are having a wrong image of how marriage should be built into their minds.

Our kids are always watching us, and learning from us- even when we wish they weren’t.

What we show them, they are likely to try for themselves. The attitudes we display toward our spouse, is likely to be one they pick up on and possibly one they adopt for themselves.

Having a good marriage takes work. It take scommunication, and time alone together. When kids see us working to have a great thing, they will know that relationships take more than it may be easy to give- but that they are worth it.

This weekend was a long overdue family reunion, for my dad’s family.
When I was a kid, we had one every summer- at least it seems like we did.
As far as I know, there has been at least a 20 year lapse.
We had fun seeing cousins who we have lost touch with, as well as family who came a long way to be there.
I was informed that we are going to plan on doing this every last weekend in August.
I am already looking forward to next year. I am really hoping more family can attend than this year. It was great, seeing everyone, but there was not enough notice to give people who would have to fly time to plan.
My kids were amazed at how many cousins they have that they had never met. I told them this was a small crowd compared to how many there really are. (We are talking 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins)
I grew up knowing my extended family. I was even very good friends with my 3rd cousin. My kids don’t even know all of their first cousins….how sad.
Of course my husband is the 5th of 8 kids, so his older nieces and nephews are much older than our kids and most of them live far away from us.
Looking back on family life when I was a kid has given me a glimpse of how blessed I am to have been surrounded by family while I was growing up.
My dad’s cousins were more like additional aunts and uncles to me. They still are.
I was also amazed at how much my Aunt Ann looks like grandma, and her brother (my uncle Danny), looks like grandpa.
Then we saw my dad’s cousins- Maryanne looks like her mother (my great Aunt Betty), and Tommy looks like their father(great Uncle Bill). It was a little creepy seeing them all together- almost like seeing the two couples again.
Even though the years have gone fast, the memories of picnics at Sullivan’s Monument and cookouts in Grandma’s yard will stay with me. I hope my kids will have similar memories of playing with cousins, and seeing a lot of family- even if they don’t know who everyone is.
Family has a certain connection- even when you meet a cousin you hadn’t known before, there is a connection immediately that bonds you together.
Family is like that- bonded, even after years of no contact-much stronger than super-glue.

Once again it is Thankful Thursday.

I am thankful for:

*quiet at the end of a long day
*little arms giving a big hug
*being offered the last popsicle- by a 4 yr. old
*nieces and nephews who like to visit my house
*teen agers who don’t mind giving me a break by babysitting once in a while
*swings
*flowers
*the smell of tide and downy
*melatonin
*people who leave me comments
*unasked for help (especially when it is my kids helping)
*my family
*laughter

I am thankful for a lot of things, and these are the things I give thanks for today.
What are you thankful for?

When I was listening to a talk show on Christian Talk radip yesterday, I heard a statistic that really bothered me.
They said that the average family has the TV on for an average of49 hours a week, but the conversation between the parents and the children was an average of 38 minutes per week.
How sad!
As a parent, I know how busy life can get. It is especially busy for parents where there is only one parent in the household, or both parents have to work in order to make ends meet.
I know that as parents, we do the best we think we can…but we can always improve.
I also know that it isn’t always easy to get kids to talk.
I thought I would offer some suggestions to help get talking more often and more productive.

*Eat dinner together, at the dinner table, with NO TV.
*Take walks with your kids, of any age.
*Play board games, or card games with your kids.
*Go camping, or do something else that keeps you outside together, with no TV.
*Set limits as to when the TV can be on, and help your kids come up with other, more productive things to do.
*Go on a TV fast.
*Have one day a week where the whole family discusses a certain topic.

Changing lifestyle is not always easy, but if it is productive, it is worth it.

Yesterday my day was completely arranged around a birthday party for my 13 yr. old daughter’s friend.
I had 4 boys 10 and under with me, drove Rachel to her friend’s house- 40 miles away, and only came about halfway home- trying not to use up too much gas, and keep the boys busy and happy for 3 hours, so she could enjoy the party.
When I drove the 20 miles back to pick her up, she had the nerve to ask me if she could spend the night there!
I was NOT happy!
I spent the afternoon wasting time close by, and now I find out I could have come home?
I almost said “No Way!”
But instead I told her that I had just wasted my time (which she must think is meant for trivial things like driving her around), and gas, to come pick her up.
I told her it was fine with me if she stayed.
The catch was, she had to give me gas money to drive back and pick her up when she wanted to come home.
Now, that might sound mean, but I think it was fair.
She wasted my time and my gas. She can’t buy my time back, but she can buy my gas.
She then handed me her money, gave me a hug, and I left.
Now, when I told my older daughter about this, you know what she asked me?
“Do you want us to give you some money to make sure you have enough gas to drive us to work in the morning?”
Maybe Rachel isn’t the only one who will take this to heart and learn a lesson from it.

My family seems to have grown this summer. This week we have my nephew staying withus. He is 7, and one of those kids who is “so cute!!!”, and he knows it!
Yesterday in church- where we were sitting in the front row- I looked over a him, and he was enjoying the worship music, and very actively playing “air guitar”, while swinging his head around.
I motioned to him to come over by me, and I told him that I know it is fun to play airguitar, but not to do it anymore, it is too distracting for all the people behind us.
I looked over again, and he was swinging his arms around, and dancing like Steve Eurkle.
I motioned again for him to come over to me.
I told him, “This is a church, not a bar-room. You can move around a little, but don’t dance so wild, it is too distracting.”
He went back to his seat, and I looked over at him again. He was swinging his arms sideways, back and forth, giving a little hip action (and bumping into the kid sitting next to him). She whispered something to him, and he came over and told me “She won’t let me dance!”
So I said “Then don’t!”
Things were quite peaceful then.
A few minutes later, he came over to me, and hugged me. He said “I like this song”
He kept his arms around my waist, and began singing along with it:
“All I need is you, Lord, is you Lord.
All I need is you.”
How sweet to hear a little boy, singing slightly off key, his Love for the Lord.
Sometimes we may think kids are fooling around, and not paying attention to what is going on around them, but they are worshipping in the way that comes naturally- bringing God into their dance, and their play.
While their hearts are singing “All I need is you, Lord.”

If I had $300 dollars I would buy________.

What would you buy with $300? Or even $200 or $100? Now is your chance to find out! Comment on any 451 Press site during the month of August and you could win! Three comments will be chosen at random to win a cash prize of $300, $200 or $100. The more you comment the more chances you have to win. So start reading and let those fingers fly.

I am the mom of seven kids, and the oldest is 21. Through the years I have had the awesome privilege to parent (in a sense) some of my kids friends.
One aspect of parenting their friends that is difficult, is that I am not the parent, so I only have what authority I am given- and they are free to take my advice or leave it.
One aspect that is not so hard, is that sometimes kids are quicker to take advice or encouragement from someone other than their parents.
When your kids have friends who practically grow up in your house, you do have a responsibility to those kids to be a good example to them- especially if you know they don’t have one in their own home.
There are a couple of kids who have become like my own over the years, so much so that I am refered to as their “other mom”.
These kids call me mom, come and visit me, and respect what Dan and I say to them- just like our own kids do.
They have asked our advice in many areas, and have asked for prayer for parents or siblings at one time or another.
Some have called in the middle of the night to ask for help in a troubling situation.
I am blessed to be parenting more than my own kids, and when people ask me how many kids I have, I almost feel guilty not counting them.
I believe that as a parent, whether to my kids or someone else’s- I am responsible to pray, listen, guide, and pray some more.
When your kids bring friends home, look at them as an extension of your own family. That will open up doors that will bless you and them.

parenting, being an example, parenting kids friends, communicating with kids, praying for kids

The school year is fast approaching, and there are many ways to prepare for it. Doing school shopping during you state’s “Sales Tax Holiday” is one good way to save money.
Here is a link that tells when those days are in many states. http://www.taxadmin.org/fta/rate/sales_holiday.html

Another way to save money is to buy the basics when they are on sale. Pencils, paper, notebooks, binders- all of these are commonly needed items, and if your house is like mine- they will be used at home if not in school.

As a homeschooler, I often purchase items ahead of time if I see a great sale.
I also enjoy planning ahead of time (usually in tyhe spring) for the coming school year. This year is different- I am just this week beginning to plan…..talk about doing things at the last minute!
I have a lot of what we will need, but still have to get a few simple things for my ounger kids.
I do most of my curriculum shopping online. One of my favorite sites is http://www.chriatianbook.com
They offer a great variety of publishers, and have many resources for homeschoolers.
I also love to shop for gently used books and supplies. My favorite online place for these is
http://www.vegsource.com/homeschool/
Each day there are new ads up, and I have bought and sold on this site. It is very helpful to be able to sell what I no longer use.
As the next three weeks fly past me, I will be trying to be prepared for school….it’s a good thing I know how to be flexible.

school, back to school, school supplies, tax holiday, state tax holiday, used curriculum, homeschool supplies, homeschool