Parenting and Religion

Shopping can be a chore, or it can be fun for all. Prom dress shopping was definitely fun for all. Finding the perfect dress, going from one store to another, ooooing and aahhhing over all the beautiful dresses, and then some more as the sale prices were seen…fun times, fun people, fun with my daughters.
Times such as these are becoming more and more precious to me as I watch my children slowly (but it seems too fast), grow up, move on, and become adults.
That’s one great thing about having a lot of kids, by the time the third and fourth ones come around to nearing adulthood, you know how to appreciate the time together as parent and child, and hold it in your heart even more, on purpose, knowing it will be short lived. Before you know it, it is parent and young adult…still your child, but also your friend.
This is nice too, but holding the memories of childhood helps it be even better.
My advice to young parents: Make memories, and remember on purpose.
As they grow up and develop lives apart from you, you will continue to make memories, but they will be of a different variety than when they were young.
Growing up can be difficult, watching how fast they grow up can be even more difficult; but if the memories are there of time spent together, you will have an easier time letting them go, and letting them grow.
Shopping and memories, part of letting them grow up.

Yesterday when I was at work, (I work in a toy store), an elderly woman was leaning on the counter while her son and his family looked around. She started motioning for my left hand, which was lying on the counter. She said “Let me see that.”
I gave her my hand, and she began marveling over the beauty of my rings, particularly my “diamond” ring. It is beautiful.
I asked her if she really liked it, and she said “It’s stunning!”
I then told her that if she wants one, I can get it for her from Avon, for about $12.00.
She said “NO!!You can’t be serious!”

See how easy it is to be fake?
Diamonds can look real, to the untrained eye. So can people.
We need to be on guard our, spiritual eyes open, to see the devices of the enemy before he gets to attack.
There are so many people who trust anyone who goes to church, they are blinded to the truth that everyone has a past, and everyone has things that will always temp them. There are people who want to get close to our kids, with purposes that aren’t good. Their plans are evil, and it’s up to us to keep our eyes on them, and not be ignorant.
Now, I’m not saying that we aren’t all forgiven, I am saying that parents shouldn’t just trust someone because they say they are born again.
Let’s not be ignorant of Satan’s devices. One of his devices is to hurt our kids, using adults they think they can trust. We need to make sure that the relationships our kids have with other adults is monitored by us, and follows our rules.
We also need to make sure that anyplace our kids are taught, ministered to, and play, is safe.
There are websites you can find that have the addresses of child prdators in your area. These are only people who are second and third degree sex offenders, so the list is not all inclusive.
I found out there is an older man who lives three doors down from us who was convicted of molesting boys as young as six. He is fresh out of prison, and my kids aren’t allowed to ride their bikes alone out there any more.
Using wisdom, setting the rules for relationships between kids and adults, and not being ignorant. These are possibly the best things we can do for our children;s safety.

I have been taking my kids to an inner city outreach, where they can be ministered to at kids church, as well as minister to other kids. It stood out to me last night just how important it is to teach our kids to memorize scripture, and to have it memorized ourselves.
When we get into situations where we need to control our thoughts, know how to pray, or need to have something to say to encourage someone else, having the Word hidden in our hearts is good, having it hidden in our hearts, and fresh in our minds is better.
Teaching our children the importance of hiding God’s word in their hearts, is part of our job as mom and dad.
Taking our position in their lives, means taking it seriously. We have got to make sure we train them in the way they should go, in their gifts, their uniqueness, their careers, their relationships, and especially their relationship with God.
The need for the Word never leaves, it grows as we grow.
Let’s be prepared for anything, with hiding the word in our hearts and minds.

When we were in church yesterday, my five year old son, Andy, was sitting next to me in the front row. Andy was holding a little stuffed dog that has become his favorite. All of a sudden. the dog flew out of his hands and hit the wall, about two chairs over from us. After he picked up the puppy, I took it away from him, and held it while I told him “If you throw the dog again, I will take him away and you won’t get him back!”
He looked at me like I didn’t know what I was talking about and said “Mom, I didn’t thrown him, he jumped!!!”
Now, my question is, how do I maintain a straight face when my kids are so funny?
I did tell him that jumping dogs aren’t allowed in church, but I was having a very hard time looking serious. (I probably only thought I looked serious, because he was smiling at me when he said he would tell the dog no more flying.)
I guess life is full of lessons, but the ones I seem to be running into lately are keeping a straight face, being firm in the midst of cuteness, and not laughing when the kids say something they don’t mean to be funny.
I guess jumping dogs may be the least of my worries, I have kids who are more creative than they should be allowed to be…..I guess I better point them in the way they should go, and keep a good sense of humor along the way.

It’s a common thing that when we are riding in the car, my five year old son will notice street signs. When he sees the sign with a picture of a deer, he says “Mom, watch out for deers!”, and when he sees a picture of people crossing the street, he will say “Mom, watch out for peoples!”. A few days ago we were driving back to my parent’s house, when he said “Mom, watch out for boys on teeter totters’!”
I love this age.
When the innocence of a life being protected from the evils of the world is so obvious. When I think about all they still need to learn, it makes me glad that I have opportunity to show them the way to go.
That’s what parents are supposed to do, show them the way to go.
It can be such a temptation to try and be their friend, but what they need us to be is their mom and dad.
Teaching our kids how to handle life, what to do and not to do, and helping them find their way in the world; that is what we are to do. The way they should go…
Teaching them to follow Christ, to love their neighbor, to put others first, and to show compassion to the people they will meet in life; that is what we are supposed to do.
If I do my job right, my kids will grow up and serve the Lord, use their gifts, and be giving, loving adults.
Please pray for me, I don’t want to run over any boys on teeter totters.

A fellow blogger, Bryan Ayers at The Focused Family, has a great blog up about being intentional in our attention to our kids.
He talks about how often a crisis can happen in the blink of an eye, the few moments we may not have our attention on our kids.
How many times have accidents happened, and we were right there?
Or you see something about to happen, and it seems like you are moving in low motion as you try to get to them fast enough?
Being intentional with our attention is something we have to work to do. I know how easy it is to be divided. I tend to be right there, and block all the sound out, especially if I am writing or reading.
Being undidvided when they talk to us is especially important.
My husband has a saying:”If you want something to be successful you have to do it on purpose.”
I believe that applies to raising our kids, as well as anything we want to do well at.
I encourage you to read The Focused Family blog, it will encourage you to pay attention, on purpose.

When I was at work today, I had a convesation with a young woman I work with. She was telling me about someone she knows who professes to be a Christian, allways talks about God and salvation to her, but she says she blocks it out because the woman is a hypocrit.
The woman who witnesses to her doesn’t let her kids paticipate in Halloween, or St Patricks Day, with the reasoning that celebrating Halloween is celebrating a satanic holiday, and celebrating St Patricks Day is celebrating Leprechauns, which she says are also evil.
She does however, allow her kids to watch horror movies, such as Friday the Thirteenth, and the Saw movies (I have no idea what those are), and Nightmare on Elm St.
The young woman doesn’t understand the double standard.
How can you not allow your kids to celebrate Halloween, but they can watch movies that are full of murder, horror, and other evil things?
I got to thinking about it, and I know that I have been guilty of similar double standards over the years.
I think this conversation was good for me because it made me evaluate my own parenting rules, and what I allow, and what I don’t or haven’t.
As I have gotten older, I have noticed that I don’t make decisions based on fear as much as I did when I was younger, and I also am more likely to evaluate my reasons for certain rules, rather than make rules because everyone else thinks I should.
I want to be a good witness to my faith.
I want people to look at my life and see that I live what I say I believe, even in my parenting.
I know I have made mistakes, and I will make more before my kids are all grown up.
But I am doing the best I know how to do, and I did the best I knew how to when my older kids were younger.
Life goes on, and God has a way of making everything work out for our good, even when we make mistakes.
Thank God for that!

Tomorrow is Resurrection Sunday. This year it just seems too early for it to real be Easter yet. But it reality, for the Christian, every day is a day to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I read a blog by someone yesterday (Good Friday), that said every year she is sad on Good Friday. When we stop and let the knowledge of what Jesus went through for us really sink in, it does have the effect of making us sad. We are sad because we are the guilty ones, and He took our punishment, our consequences for our sin, and He wore them at the cross. He took our past failures, our future mistakes, and our broken relationship with God our Father, and made a way for restored relationship.
Then, Sunday came. We all know what happened on Sunday- Jesus rose from the dead.
This is our celebration, the fact that though we were once dead to sin, we can now be alive in Christ.
Some people make it seem so complicated.
But it is really so simple.
We only have to say “I accept your gift of sacrifice for me Jesus, I accept your forgiveness of my sins, and I accept you as my Lord (the boss of my life), my savior The one who saved me from hell, and eternal death), and my Redeemer (the one who brought relationship with the Father back to me). Thank you, AMEN!”
The key is to mean it from your heart, and be determined to live for Christ….after all Tomorrow is Sunday, what better time to celebrate Resurrection?

I just heard on Fox News, that there are medications on their way to the USA, from China, that are tainted. Once again, China is poisoning us…..
Of course I am way off to wonder if all the things we have encountered recently from China could be being done on purpose…..I should slap myself for thinking such a thing.

Anyhow, before you give your kids any new medication, check the lable to make sure it isn’t made in China.

Sandra Williams from Parenting Under The Stars has tagged me to answer five questions about blogging. After I answer my questions, I will tag five people who blog, and they will answer on thier blogs.

Here are the questions:
*How long have you been blogging?
*What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
*Are You trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
*Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.
*Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE with in the online world.

How long have you been blogging?
I have been blogging on and off for about 3 years, but steadily for one year.

What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
Honestly, I am most inspired by my kids. I have always written journals, or other creative things, but when I saw my kids begin writing online, using myspace.com and xanga.com- I was very interested.
My husband inspires me to write from my heart, and let God use me.
My mom is also a great mentor and inspiration She keeps a journal, a prayer journal, and has always encouraged me to use my gifts.
Another inspiration to me is the ladies at the momwriters group I belong to. They are always encouraging each other, no matter what the writing venue is.

Are You trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
I began doing it for fun, but am now making money at it. I would do it just for fun….but I would rather have fun and make money. My other writing ventures are strictly for money. (and I have fun!)

Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.
1) I love the convenience, I can write and work from home.
2) I love meeting people from all over the world, and I hope to touch many lives.
3) It gives a sort of freedom to say things I might not say to a person face to face, and enables me to express myself with more grace than I can verbally.

Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE with in the online world.
1) I struggle with impersonal relationships. I feel hindered from getting to really know people.
2) The way it is so easy to be phony and hard to know when someone is.
3) I don’t like meeting people, developing online friendships, and then never hearing from them again.

Now to tag others:
Country Gal at livingruralonline.com
Bryan Comer at sympathypain.com
April Gilford at Life As A Christian
Woman
Valerie at Just Thinking
Sandra Hamlett at Money In the Pocket

Have fun answering, and hopefully playing tag will help us get in shape. (imagine that??)

So often we hear of people we never thought it would happen to, getting divorced. It is more common now for couples to give it up, than to work it out.
What about the kids caught in the middle?
There are some kids who will be affected in more emotional ways than others.
With Christians and divorce, there is the possibility of them questioning God’s love for them. “After all, if mom and dad stopped loving each other, couldn’t they and God stop loving me?”
Keeping lines of communication open, allowing them to express themselves by letting them vent and talk, and not making them feel guilty for any emotions they may be going through, will go a long way in making them feel secure.
When kids are allowed to say what they feel, without being made to feel guilty,they are able to cope with those feelings in a more positive way.
If they are old enough, let them have a say in things concerning them, if possible. If they help decide on who they will live with (Older kids ) and visitation, they may feel more in control and be able to adjust better.
Never berate or talk down your ex. Kids are not stupid, and if a parent is being talked about in a bad light, often the kids will see through it. It is important to keep relationships with both parents going as strong as possible. This means allowing the kids to care for and verbally express their feelings- even about your ex.
Pray with the kids. Pray with them for strength, courage, wisdom, peace, and strong relationships for them.
Make sure they know that you will always love them, and so will the other parent.
Divorce is often a cause of adults being so self centered, the kids emotions are forgotten about and disregarded.
If you are a divorced parent, or becoming one- be encouraged that you can still keep your faith, and have a wonderful family life, with a lot of prayer, a lot of attention given to communication, and being there for your kids.
It is a hard time for adults, but it is the parents responsibility to make it as easy an adjustment for our kids as possible.
Praying and talking- two things that may hold your family together, even if separated.

I just read this tragic story of the accidental death of a 10 year old boy.
It seems he and his friends saw a cartoon where someone was buried head first in sand, and escaped… a cartoon!
He wasn’t as lucky as the cartoon character, and now his friends have to live their lives knowing they killed a friend.
His parents have to live their lives knowing they lost their son, because of a stupid cartoon.
How awful!
There have always been stunts that could seriously harm or kill real people on cartoons. But from what I remember, most of the things were so outrageous, that no kid could really try them,
successfully.
Being the parents, it is our responsibilty to know what they are watching, and explain things that may be hurt them or someone else.
Also, as parents, we can’t have our eyes on them every moment, so we need to constantly be holding them up in prayer.
We will never understand why some things happen, and we may not be able to prevent some of the things that may come our way- but we can be wise by keeping on top of what is going on in our kids lives. And we can be graceful and compassionate with others who are going through the pain of something such as this, without passing judgement.
Every parent who reads of this tragedy will feel the pain of these parents. And maybe someof us will take stock of our own family lives; making it a priority to hug our kids, pray for them, love them, and maybe make them stop waching such stupid things on television.

accidental death, caartoon behavior, compassion, death of children

I was reading Romans 7 and 8 today, and something stood out to me. In the Amplified Bible, Rom. 8:3, it says “For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit].”
Imagine, the flesh being defined as “the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit”.
I am amazed at how awesome it is to get revelation (clarity) on this.
As Christians (people who have been reconciled to God by the sacrifice of His son, and our acceptance of Him as our Lord and Savior), we don’t have to walk according to our entire nature without the Holy Spirit.
We can walk according to the Spirit, which brings life;rather than walking according to the flesh, which brings death.
As Christian parents, it is up to us to teach our kids how to do this.
It is our job to teach them not only how to believe, and how to live a Christian life- but also how to make the decision to walk according to the Spirit, rather than giving in to the flesh.
This means we don’t have to go by what we feel, or what we want- but we can be strengthened by the Holy Spirit, and walk in the faith that God will work in us to will and to do according to His good pleasure.
Walking in the flesh is easy. All you have to do is whatever you want to, and whatever feels right.
Relying on the Holy Spirit may not come so easy or natural, but it is well worth doing. It will help us stay out of trouble, do what is right even when we don’t want to, and enjoy living a life of integrity.
Let’s teach our kids that living a life of walking in the Spirit, fullfills.
Living a life of walking in the flesh (without the Holy Spirit), kills.

Changes occur every day, whether we are ready for them or not, and whether we want them or not. It is a fact of life.
If you are like me, expected changes are easier to accept than unexpected ones.
For instance, I know my kids are going to grow up and move away- hopefully not too soon, and hopefully some of them will live close to us. But the fact is, they will all grow up and leave home.
This is one thing I can prepare myself for, one kid at a time. I am working on accepting the second leaving, and I think I am ready.
It is, however, harder to think of the third one leaving.
He has wander lust….wanting to move away for summer, and find a job. He will only be 17.
That is my hard thing to think about right now.
The thing is, I was out of my parents house at 17, married to Dan.
Shawn isn’t getting married (he definitely isn’t ready for that, and there is no girl that I am aware of), but he is one constant in our home. He is dependable, helpful, encouraging, and just plain nice to have around.
He hasn’t seriously talked to us about finding a way to go this summmer, he has only hinted to me, loudly at times. I think I need to prepare myself. My mommy emotions can so easily get in the way, and I really want to be sensitive to what God wants for this kid.
He does too. His desire is to be doing what the Lord wants, and in the right timing.
Change- inevitable and at times difficult, but worth preparing for.