Parenting and Religion

My daughter called me last night. She told me she received a wonderful compliment from one of her college Professors about an essay she is in the process of finishing. He read the second draft, and told her the first paragraph was the best he had ever read in an essay.
How exciting!
I agree with him. I read it and it is humorous, makes quality points, and had the effect of making me want to read more.
That’s what good writing does, it makes you want to read more.
It is also what living a good life does, it makes you want to live more.
I don’t mean a rich life, or a life where everything is going right. I mean the good life of enjoying the little things, doing good to others, forgiving and letting go of things that have hurt, reaching out and helping someone else, having a heart that is right with God- knowing Jesus as not only your savior, but your Lord. Being used by Him in ways unimaginable.
Living the good life- it means living the life of a servant of God and knowing He is in control.
It is even better than reading a good book.

Once again, I am reminded of how blessed I am. And I am thankful.
My children are all healthy,
They actually like each other-rare among a lot of siblings.
They show Dan and I respect and love.
And above all, they all love the Lord, and are committed to serving Him- with joy.

Working in the toy store, I see a lot of kids who want it all. Not only do they want it all, they act like they will be angry if they don’t get it all, and then some.
One little boy, when told he might get a toy he was interested in for Christmas said “NO! It’s not on my Christmas list.”
What are we teaching our kids?
When I tell my kids to make out a list for Christmas I make it clear that it is a wish list, NOT a shopping list.
Bringing kids up to appreciate what they have, and not be demanding with what they wish to have, takes work. It takes NOT giving them everything they want, and making them work for some of what they want.
Christmas is a fun time to give, but my goal is to keep it all in balance and not go overboard.
Now, what do I want for Christmas? (Just kidding!!!)

Working in a toy store is a lot of fun, and also educational. I have gotten some good ideas from parents who shop there. One idea is to bring the kids in, let them lead the way, playing with the toys they like, looking at what interests them, and following along observing.
There are many parents who do this, and I have become one of them.
Then, parents come back alone, and buy the toys their children liked or expressed an interest in.
This is a great way to make sure the thinks they buy for their kids are things the kids will really play with and enjoy.
Another thing some parents do, is sneak things to the sales counter, and ask the sales-clerk to hide them back there. This also works out well, but then again- we are helpful and like to be sneaky.
Those are just some ideas.
Not a couple of don’t do’s:
DON”T tell your kids the things are not for sale, and then ask a sales clerk to confirm it. We don’t like to lie, and the kids can see other people buying things.
DON”T tell your kids that Santa’s elves are in the back of the storage room making toys and wrapping presents…..they may try to sneak a look.
And finally- DON”T leave your kids to play in the front of the store while you wander around to look. I have seen this so much lately, and it is not ok to do. The front door is easy to open and it is possible that someone could take your child.

Happy Shopping, and if you wish me Happy Holidays, expect to hear “Merry Christmas!”

Pretzels are fun to make, and yummy to eat. Today was a field trip to Auntie Anne’s Pretzel shop at our local mall. The kids each learned how to make a pretzel, and see it baked and then eat it up. They also got to drink a lemonade- fun, fun, fun!!
Believe it or not, these homeschool field trips are as enjoyable for mom as they are for the kids. It is a lot of fun, and encouraging to talk to other homeschool moms- and to take part in “kid stuff”.
In a few weeks we are going to a Science Museum, I am really looking forward to that one.

A friend called me last night, and told me of another friend who allowed a friend of her young children to come over to her house to play. While the kids were watching TV, the little boy (about seven years old), blurted out “My mommy and my brother have sex with me.”
Wow!
I have never been in that situation, and am not sure how I would react.
I have seven kids, and none of them have ever brought a friend home who said they were being abused- or showed signs of abuse.
As a mom, my heart breaks for this little boy.
There are so many children in bad situations, and sometimes they are left there and ignored.
I hope this child gets the help he needs.
From what I heard, it was reported, but I don’t know the family, or anything else about them- only what my friend told me- and she doesn’t know them either.
She did tell me that her advice to her friend was to call the child abuse hotline. But is that enough?
He still went home to a place where he could be in danger.
As someone who has ministered to children in church, I would immediately report the accusation- but some people don’t want to get involved, and some are afraid they may be wrong.
Please pray for this child. Pray for protection, healing, and a future. Pray for salvation, and safety. Pray for the truth to be revealed, and for him to be ok- no matter what has been done to him.
Thank you.

I know someone right now, whose child is being used as an emotional manipulation weapon against her.
The emotional manipulation comes from the father of the child using anger to bring the child to tears, hoping the crying will manipulate the mother into doing what he wants.
How do we handle such things?
Why do parents use their kids like this, and what can the custodial parent do to control the situation?
I would really like some input here, if anyone has had experience with such things.
Yes, divorce is nasty, and it is hard- but kids shouldn’t be the weapons used to fight.
My friend is at a loss as to what to do. Does she force her child (11 years old) to go with her when she goes somewhere (they still live in the household), or does she leave her with her non-custodial soon to be ex, who is using anger to manipulate the tears, and the cries to stay home?
Last night she left her there, hesitatingly. She was worried about her, and decided that this would be his weekend visitation- it might as well begin now, right?
She wants to know how to help the child adjust, and how to respond to the tears and the manipulation.
Moving out will come very soon, and might be even harder.
If anyone has any helpful suggestions, please feel free to comment.
It is so hard to see kids going through things such as parents divorcing, and as adults, it can be difficult for us to know how to make it easier on them, and understand all the fear, and emotional upset it can cause.
Please pray for this family.

How much vulgar and profane talking are we supposed to have to listen to, because of free speech?
I choose to speak up and tell people I am offended. I had to do this tonight at work. I work in a toy store, and three teenage boys walked in. They were acting ok at first, but then they began picking up toys, and saying things such as “This looks like a dildoe; this one looks like a bong”.
They proceeded to do this, calling different childrens toys by the names for sex toys and drug
paraphernalia.
I went over to them, and asked them to keep their talk to a “G” rating, seeing as it was a “G” rated store. (even though they were the only customers in the store at the time).
They said “Oh, sorry!”, and then began to talk a little different, until they were leaving. Then one of them swore, and looked at me and said “sorry”.
Yeah right!
I find myself getting bolder to tell people not to use certain words in front of my kids too.
It is time to use our freedom of speech, and speak up for what is right.
We also need to stop things such as birth control being given to kids. If you want to sign a petition to end it, visit http://www.aclj.org

We need to stand up and do what we can to make sure our kids are safe, both from what cna be done to them, and what influences are around them.
For other things we need to speak up on, read this.

What is the funniest thing your kids have done, that wasn’t intended to be funny?
Did you laugh?
My kids are always cracking me up.
Last night, Shawn called to tell me he was at his friend Aaron’s grandma’s house.
I told Rachel where Shawn was, and Danny asked me- “Is Aaron there?”
Rachel said “No, Shawn is hanging out with Aaron’s grandma!”
Danny said “Oh!”, so serious….
I lost it. Rachel laughed too, but Danny said “What?!”
He totally believed her.

George Kramer, over at Fatherhood, has a blog us today about liking someone and loving someone. He talks about his little girl wanting to be liked, and it got me to thinking…
How often do we stop and think about being liked? Not that everyone we know will like us, but I know for me, I want my kids to like me and to love me.
With the responsibilities of parenting, and the reality of Dan and I being the rule makers and disciplinarians- being liked may not always be an option.
I have heard it said that parents are to be parents, and not try to be friends to their children. While I agree with this, I also know there is something inside each of us that wants our children to like us.
From my experience as both a daughter and a mother, I can say that eventually children begin to see their parents as people- with dimensions to them other than just “mom and dad”.
As a daughter, I think I began to see my parents as people when I was an older teen. I began to see more than just the ways they affected me, and more to them than a child looks for. I saw them as people who were infuential with their friends, co-workers, church, neighbors, and society in general.
I began to like my parents for more than the occasional favor or decision that I wanted them to make.
I began to like them as people.
As an adult, I can honestly say that my parents are two of my best friends. We can talk easily, and I can see them for who they really are, their whole person- not just the part that affects me.
Dan and I are in the transition stage with at least a couple of our kids. Our oldest daughter is married, and I believe she is seeing us as people in our own right.
Our oldest son also seems to be beginning to like us as people.
It is a different relationship with adult kids, but it is good.
Being liked is nice. Being loved is great.
Having both is wonderful!

I began my new job today, at The Village Toy Shop. I had a fun day, and was actually told that the employees are encouraged to play with the toys so we are familiar with them…I can hardly wait till Thursday!
The people I work with are all very nice, and there is a “Let’s have fun!” attitude in the store.
This morning when I was getting ready to go to work, Andy (4) asked me “Where are you going?” I told him I was going to work. He said “But I thought you worked in the office downstairs.” He was ok with me going when he found out where it was. My kids love that store. They have Thomas trains to play with, a big wooden train to play on, and a really cool race track with loops set up to play with.
I may be the mom, but I still love to play with toys.

One of my favorite blogs is Mom is Teaching, by Summer Minor. Of course it would be a favorite of mine since it is about homeschooling. Summer offers many good ideas of things to do with your kids, even if you don’t homeschool, and she has a multitude of good links.
I also read Teacher Smack Down, by AnneMarie Nicols. She keeps us informed of what is going on in our schools and what is being done about it.
Marilyn Porter of Parenting Sites 411 lets us in on what there is to read about parenting.
Bryan Comer of Sympathy Pain, invites us to participate in controversial and interesting parenting tactics.
Reading informative and interesting blogs is wonderful, but there are also a lot of factual parenting websites that can offer some advice, encouragement and insight into the world of parenting.
I invite you to visit the sites I have included on my sidebar.
No matter what you read about parenting, remember, you are the parent. We each have our own way of doing things, and our own preferences. We also are each unique. Different families will work best in different ways. Just because one thing works well for my family, doesn’t mean it will work well for yours.
The bottom line is, what does God say?
Look to the Bible for your best parenting advice. You can’t go wrong if you have the best advice from your Father. He has ourbest interests inm ind, and knows what each of us needs. He also knows what our kids need, and that each one is different from the others.
Prayer, the Bible, and good counsel all have their place. Use each one to learn what works well for you and your family. Your kids will grow up knowing you respected them as individuals, and that you see them as unique.

If you read my blog regularly, you know I am a parent who likes to have fun with her kids. However, I saw this video, and thought it was a good warning on taking caution while having fun with the kids.

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