Parenting and Religion

So often it can be tempting to hide reality. Nobody wants others to see their flaws. We all know that nobody is perfect, but when it comes to people seeing how imperfect we really are, we will do all we can to hide it.
One thing that has been on my mind lately, is the need in the church (those who call themselves Christians) is that before any of us can effectively minister to others, and that should be what we do, we need to take care of the things that so easily entrap us.
If I’m (we’re) not going to be honest before the Lord, and ask Him to show me (us) where I’m (we’re) missing it, then how can I (we) effectively minister to others?
In order to minister to the needs of others, I have to have my own life in order. I have to at least be willing to recognize and admit my own challenges, downfallings, and imperfections to the Lord, and maybe to some other people, before I can take the steps needed to bring those things into the place where I am having victory over them in my life, and then I can minister to others.
That isn’t to say that I have to be perfect. (Like that will ever happen!..haha) Afterall, I am human.
I do, however, have to realize that I need God to help me, ask for help, and be taking steps to grow in the Lord, and overcome the things that I struggle with.
If I pretend I am doing well, when I’m not at all, then my desire to help others will fail. If I am real, admitting that I don’t have it all together, then I will be able to minister more effectively.
As a parent, this also holds true. Who am I to minister to first?
My family.
Being honest with them about my imperfections, my struggles, and my need for their support must come before I can effectively minister to them.
I’m not saying we have to lay it all out on the table. I am saying that we need to stop playing church, and be real.
We need to stop acting like we have it all together, and realize that the only way we can have it all together is to be together through it all. Be real, be honest, ask for help when needed, ask for prayer, and pray for ourselves.
Ministering the Gospel, whether to our families, or to the world, can only be done with positive results if we take care of being real first.

A comment one of my kids made recently made me stop and really think about something. Am I a copy or an original?
He made the comment on a social networking site that one of the problems in the church, and in the world, at least in his opinion, is that there are many people who think they are Christians because they decide to live and take on the Christian lifestyle. They may never have a true heart change, acknowledge Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, or even believe they are honestly, eternally saved. They are in turn, a copy (though artificial) of what those who are honestly born again are.
What am I?
As I searched my heart, I came to the conclusion that I am an original. Not because I live a perfect life (believe me, I don’t), and not because I am good enough. I am only an original because of the saving grace that I found in Christ.
That’s what it all comes down to. Being honest and admitting that He is the only reason I am saved….His grace, His mercy, and His death and Resurrection- all so I could be saved from eternal damnation.
As a matter of fact, He did those things for all of us. The difference is, I accepted the forgiveness offered in the sacrifice of His life, and the offer God makes of saving me.
How about you?
Are you an original?
You are a good person, I am sure. But that isn’t good enough. The only way to be saved it through the believing in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that God raised Him from the dead, and the confession of your mouth that He is your Savior. (Romans 10:9). Living the lifestyle is good, but it won’t save your soul. Being born again will….that is the difference.

Integrity.
What does it mean to you? To me it means doing what I say I will do, being honest with others in my personal life and my business life, and being willing to make things right when I know they haven’t been.
I saw a wonderful example of Integrity this week, in one of my children. I saw an example that is inspiring to me, not only as a parent, but as a Christian.
Last summer my son was allowed to go on a trip he really wanted to go on. The deal was that he would pay for it, but that the people who were in charge would put the funds up front for him. There was no real time frame suggested.
He ended up getting a job a few months ago, and began to save his money. Now, he couldn’t remember exactly how much he owed them, but rather than ask them, he gave them above what he knew the minimum would be and told them to keep it as an offering to their ministry.
In the process of taking care of this debt, he told me that he wanted them to know that teens are trustworthy. He wanted to leave them with the impression that they could go on doing things like this for young people, and not be ripped off. He wanted to help them do this again with his offering.
Now, as a parent that makes me proud. As a Christian it actually makes me feel a little convicted about some of the things I haven’t made right, that I need to make right. Not just in the financial end of things, but in other areas.
When I say I will pray for someone, sometimes I honestly forget- especially if I don’t do it right away. That is not being a woman of Integrity.
When I borrow something from someone, I am not usually very fast at returning it.
I am challenged to change.
Learning from the kids is wonderful. Applying it to life will have to be done on purpose.

Taking life seriously enough to take our commision seriously, means raising our children to take the commision seriously.
Thinking about that, it amazes me how many Christian parents won’t encourage, or let their children be involved in ministering to other children.
Sure, sometimes it may be because they don’t know of an outlet for them ministerially. But most often, to my observation, fear is what keeps parents from letting thier kids minister.
Fear of having some attrocity done to their child.
Fear of them learning bad behavior from other children who may not know better.
Fear of the kids being influenced with bad language, or coarse jesting.
When you let your kids be ministers to other kids, some of that may happen. But do you know what else is more likely to happen?
The kids being ministered to will have their lives changed by being shown the love of God.
Your children will learn how to reach out to others, to people of all ages.
Your children will learn what gifts God has placed within them.
Your children will see that God uses children, as well as adults.
Your children will have a sense of purpose, knowing they are doing good for others, and being used for the glory of God.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to let fear rule what I allow my kids to do. If God leads me there, He will protect them there.

Sometimes it seems like life can get so busy, that we forget to take time for fun. This time of year, with spring sports starting, spring cleaning, trying to get ready for summer, getting all the school work done (especially if you homeschool as I do), and just being busy with life in general, can take so much time and attention that we forget to take time with our kids and have some fun.
The moments we do take may feel rushed, like there is so much we should be doing. When attention is taken by what is pressing, it can interrupt the time we spend with family.
One way to help correct that, is to make having fun with the kids a priority. Think about how they will remember it. Think of the memories you are building for a lifetime of family bonding.
Think about the things you enjoyed with your own parents, or the things you wish they would have taken more time for.
Make a committment to keeping the fun time stress free. Keep the mood light, and the humor high.
Being together is the important thing.
When you take time to have fun with your kids, you are showing them love in ways that nothing else will.

Sickness, it’s a part of life, right?
When there seems to be no end to the sharing the sickness, spreading it around like it is the best thing going, and passing it from one family member to another, the toll it can take on the main care giver in the family is huge.
What to do?
Pray, disinfect everything, pray, bleach the toilet, pray, wash all the bedding in the house, pray, make sure there are enough puke buckets to go around, pray, wash your hands…again…pray, give medicine, pray, visit the doctor, pray, wash your hands, pray, disinfect everything again..pray, pray, pray.
That sums up my last three weeks.

There is a certain balance that we must each reach in looking forward to things yet to come.
What I mean, is that it is alright to look forward to something, but it is very important to enjoy what is between then and now.
Living for the now, in the now, and enjoying the now- while looking forward to something special that is on the horizon.
While raising my kids, it has been tempting at times to join them in the “I can’t wait until….” attitude. What I have learned from my own struggle with that, is that it can rob life of being lived to the full now.
I try to teach my kids that it is good to look forward, but enjoying everything inbetween now and then is important. Don’t let life fly by while waiting for things to come. Enjoy what today brings, and embrace the things you are doing now. Live now, love now, laugh now- all while looking forward to doing the same then.
Life goes by too fast to miss the now for what is yet to come.

I was reading the Bibile in Exodus the other day, and noticed something that has slipped by me before. In Exodus 28:3, it says- “3Tell all who are expert, whom I have endowed with skill and good judgment”.
Now, as a Christian, I have always believed that God is the one who gives ability and talent in certain areas. But when I read this verse, all of a sudden it dawned one me that He gives us particular skills and giftings so that they can be used for His purposes. I know, that should be obvious, and I always assumed it was so. But when I read that scripture it was like a light turned on. Like now I know that not only does He give the skills, gifts, and talents, but that He has specific things in mind for us to use them in, and along with them He gives us the wisdom (good judgement) to use them according to His standards.
How often do Christians give in to the pressures to use their gifts in ways that may not be pleasing to God. Actors who are willing to compromise with words and actions, simply because they are actors after all. Writers who give in to requests to write things that will lead others astray or even be something they may be ashamed of down the road. Musicians who sing the lyrics to songs that make fleshly living sound appealing, and any other gifted person who doesn’t hold the standard given by the Lord, the conscience that tells them not to use the gift in that way, and they do it anyways.
If Christians are going to raise up the standard of God, which is what the world will be judged by, then we need to take our gifts, skills, and talents, seriously. We have got to be selective, sensitive to God’s leading in our gift, and be not be willing to compromise in the gift.
I am coming to a new place of appreciating the gifts and skills God has put in me. My prayer is that I will honor God in them, and that I will teach my children to do the same.
Blessing comes in obedience.

Winter always seems so long, especially when the snow begins flying in October, and you know it will continue through March. Making it through the season, with a good attitude, and an outlook that is willing to make the best of the seasons, is hard for me to do sometimes. Take this week for example. A couple of days it was beautiful out. Sun shining, in the high thirties, and mild wind. Today, it is in the negatives, windy, cold, but still sunny.
I yearn for spring, new life, new season, new beginnings. My kids want to go out and play- without having layer upon layer of clothing to wear.
And even more, I want them to go out and play, for more than 20 minutes…
Anyhow, winter is lasting too long, and I needed to vent.

Growing up is not always easy. Especially when you are the parent.
I know, parents are already all grown up, right? Well, maybe on the outside, but there is still a little bit of child in each adult.
I know, you probably think I am getting into the “release your inner child” stuff…that is far from the truth.
What I am talking about, is growing up to the point of being willing to be like a little child- with our faith.
Jesus said that we need to have faith like little children. That means we need to believe with abandon, believe whole hearedly, have the faith that will not be shaken- even in the midst of a storm around us. Have faith that stands, even when we feel like we are falling.
I think in those respects, I don’t want to grow up. It would make life too hard.
When we are faced with adult things, such as illness, death, children who wander, marriage challenges, and anything else that would try to shift our faith into oblivion, we need to remain as little children do- holding on to what we know is true.
Faith repeats what God says in the face of opposition.
Faith talks outloud, when everything around is saying “Be quiet!”
Faith offers peace, when it is tempting to give in to dispair or confusion.
Faith takes hold of the promise of God, whatever the need is, rather than allowing the promise to be stolen by fear or doubt.
Growing up in the things of God is not easy. It means maintaining the childlike faith that will take us to the place of perfect peace; while denying what seems to be true- but often times is a lie, in the face of walking in faith.
Growing up to be like a child is my goal…in faith that is.

No matter what your political affiliation,
No matter who you voted for;
If you are a Christian, you have a responsibilty to our new President, to pray. You have a responsibility to God, to pray. You and I are told to pray for those in authority- not only if we agree with them, but because prayer can move the hand of God, and God can change hearts and minds.
Because as the leader, our president needs to be lifted up in prayer- for protection, for wisdom, and for his own spiritual condition to be one that honors God and his position.
God draws the hearts of those who call Jesus “Lord”.
Praying for our new president, will not only line us up in God’s will for our attitudes, but it will also make change for the good more likely- no matter what the press says, or what we think.
Prayer can change things, and prayer makes a difference. For both those who are prayed for, and those who are praying.
Take responsibility- pray.

This time of year always brings something back to me, that never was- My first baby.
I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, in 1983. My baby would have been born in January. She would be 25 this week.
Somehow, the loss has never left me- and the memory of what might have been still comes to me every year around this time.
Maybe God allows me to think on it to remind me of the miracle it was for me.
After all, we all need to remember times when God showed up strong on our behalf.

The week my baby would have been due to be born, I began to go through a depression. I stayed in my nightgown, didn’t open the curtains, and was sleeping a lot….I didn’t want to think about what might have been.
The night the baby would have been due, I was hurting so much. I was laying in bed, crying quietly, and woke Dan up.
He asked me why I was upset, and I told him that our baby would have been due that day.
He put his arms around me, and began to pray for me.
Then, he rolled over and went to sleep.
I felt a little better, but was still very sad.
When I closed my eyes to go to sleep, God showed me something.
I saw Jesus, and he was holding the hand of a little blond girl. Immediately, I knew that He was holding the hand of my child.
I was still sad for my loss, but the depression was replaced by the joy of knowing that I would be able to one day hold her, and that she was being taken care of by my Lord.
It’s funny…but a couple of times I have thought that I saw an older blond girl in a photo with my other children.
I have had dreams of my children playing, and there has been an older blond girl in the dream with them. Always, she was a part of my family.
I know that some people may think I am being overly sentimental, or that I am being too religious about life and loss, but the truth is, a baby is a baby from the time God joins those two precious parts that unite in conception.
When loss of life occurs, there is no loss in heaven.
I am convinced that remembering what might have been is an important part of remembering how good God is.
He didn’t cause me to have a miscarriage, but He did take that baby in His arms, and He did let me see that life goes on there, even when it ends here.

As I think about the cold winter, I am preparing for later this week. I live in the northeast, upstate NY. They are calling for sub zero temperatures at the end of the week. On my mind….soup or chili…blankets, blankets, and more blankets…..hot chocolate and tea…..does everyone have clean socks?…. movie marathon days……popcorn nights…..no..don’t go out!…..no, you can’t go sledding…..ahhhh…earl grey…
Get the picture?
Winter is here in full force, and I am getting ready to stay in for a couple of days….if I can avoid going out, I will!
Stay Warm,
Jean

Have you ever begun to lose your hope that Christ really is coming back?
Sometimes, seeing everything that’s happening in the world, it seems like we may have been forgotten. That’s why we were admonished not to give up on hope. Not to take our eyes off of what Jesus said would happen, and what God has ordained and allowed us to see all through His word, the hope of being reunited with Him, with the glorious return of our Lord Jesus.
Let’s be ready. Keep putting on hope. Even looking silly to the world, we need to continue encouraging each other that the time is indeed at hand. We need to have the prayerful attitude of, “Come quickly Lord Jesus!”, and we need to be constantly having out eyes on Him, praying and reading the Bible, fellowshipping and encouraging fellow believers.
Keep hoping. Keep building up your faith. Keep your eyes on Him.