Parenting and Religion

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, so for the next couple of days, I will be writing about Domestic Violence.

When there is violence in the home, children are effected in one way or another. If they witness physical violence, or experience being abused themselves, they will not only be physically hurt, but will carry emotional scars with them into adulthood. Children who are abused and children who witness abuse, are more likely to become abusers themselves.
Some children who live with violent situations will act out. They could display it in their inability to communicate effectively, poor concentration, developmental delays, fear and nightmares. They may be unable to interact well with children of the same age. (For more on the effects of abuse on children, read “The Effects of Domestic Violence On Children“.
Every family has arguments and disagreements. How do we teach our children to fight fair, and not use violence in their arguments?
There are rules you can establish to prevent things from getting out of control.
Here are some examples:
1) No name calling.
2) No physical force- pushing, shoving, hitting- all of these are abusive and must be forbidden in an argument.
3) No one can storm out of the house in anger. They may go to another room, but must remain until they have cooled down.
4) When there is an argument, there must be an obvious end to it. Making up, or coming to an agreement of some sort. This will enable everyone to go on without fear of it coming up again.
We have established these rules in our house, and they do work well. Of course kids will try to fight unfair, and it is up to us to set an example of how to disagree without being mean and violent.
If parents will set the tone for the home, the children will usually follow. Telling kids,”Daddy and I don’t hit each other, you can’t either!”, will go a long way. Be the example. Set the tone for non-violent arguing. If things are too tense in the home, and your children do act out, re-evaluate and change some rules.
Being strict about being kind to everyone is good.
Be honest when you are wrong. If you act on emotion, or say something you shouldn’t to your spouse, or a child- admit it. Ask forgiveness, and change your behavior.
As parents, we must show them how to live. Living non-violently is a great way to begin.

Read: Psychological Domestic Violence, for information on what it is.

domestic violence, preventing domestic violence, abuse, children and violence