Parenting and Religion

How do I let go?
You would think that since my oldest is almost 21, and the next oldest is 18 and married, it would be easier. I have always heard people say they can’t wait for their kids to grow up and get out of the house, but I don’t think that way.
I went to my daughter’s graduation senior day assemblt today, and it was hard.
It was hard to know that once again a passage has come, and I need to let go some more.
It seems a little strange to me that I feel this way, after all she has been married for almost a year.
But I know that she will not only be graduating from high-school, but also moving out of my house, and in the not too distant future, possibly far away.
My son who will be 21 next month has been hard for me to let go too, but I think I can do it.
I still do the mommy thing of making sure he doesn’t forget things and eats enough, but I know I have to stop.
I guess I need to convince myself emotionally that the time has come, and that it is a GOOD thing.
A GOOD thing because it is right.
My daughter and her husband will be trying to find an apartment soon, that is a GOOD thing.
My son can take care of himself, and that is a GOOD thing too.
I will be ok, and I will still be mom….
but I will miss having a crowded house, and cooking for 10 all the time.
I will miss all the commotion and noise.
I will miss making lunch for them, and sharing popcorn while we play cards.
I will miss the line to the bathroom….well, maybe not that.
It will all be a GOOD thing though.
Dan and I have taught them well.
We have prayed for them, and talked to them about God their whole lives.
We have shown them how to live right, be responsible, and at the same time to have fun.
Most important, we have shown them Jesus, and they know Him.
It is all GOOD.

The count down now begins:
Two down, five to go.

Yesterday’s comment from my sister, Carol/Missy, (one of which is her real name), prompted me to tell the story of the shirt she mentioned.
When we were very young, probably about 11 and 9, we found this shirt that said “Love Me Tender” in big bright bold letters. We knew our dad was an Elvis fan, so we thought that of course, he would love this big bright bold shirt.
He acted like he did when he opened it. He even put it on right away. When he wore it to the store, we thought for sure he really liked it.
It wasn’t until years later that he told us his side of the story. He wore it to the store, forgettiing he had it on, and after that he went into the bar across the street where all his buddies hung out. Boy did they razz him for that. He says now that they sung to him and made fun of him for a long tiem afterwards.I know that was a long time ago, but certain family funnies never die, they only get funnier as time goes on.

I have been trying to write down our family funnies, and every once in a while, my kids ask me to read one about them. It is a nice way to help keep the good memories alive, and will help the whole family remember the fun and funny times.

I am blessed to have a Father who lets me know he loves me. I am blessed to be married to a man who lets me and our children know we are the most important people in the world to him.
With Father’s Day approaching I thought I would offer some suggestions to honor the father’s in your life.
A couple of years ago, the kids and I made a “Dad” T-shirt for Dan. We bought a t-shirt, and made handprints with fabric paint on one side. On the other side, in the same position as each handprint, I wrote the name of the child who made the handprint on the opposite side. On the pocket of the t-shirt, I wrote “Dad”. That t-shirt is still his favorite.
Another thing we have done, is make out of black and gold construction paper, a pot of Gold.
We cut out the black piece in the shape of a pot, and then the gold, just a little smaller. We then glued them together, but left the top open. The kids then wrote little notes such as “one back rub”, “a walk with just me”, “I will make you a banana shake”, and other things they like to do together. The notes were put inside the pot of gold.
There are a lot of fun and creative ideas for honoring dad. Here are a couple of links to sites to help with finding just the right thing for the dad in your life, or your child’s life.

http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/dad/

http://www.marvelcreations.com/fathersday.html

http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/cr_occasions_fathers_day/article/0,1789,HGTV_3272_5502237,00.html

Have fun showing your heartfelt love and appreciation to dad.

Worry…the biggest tempatation that has fallen to mom. Well, this mom anyhow.
I know worry is one of my weakness’s, and I try to remember to do all I can to stand against it.
As a Christian, I believe the enemy of our souls (the devil, and all his friends), knows our weakness’s and uses them against us at every turn. Just when we think we have it all together, or we are on our way, he gets his digs in with whatever the weakness is. He tries to trip us up, and get our eyes off of what they are supposed to be on.
In my case, my eyes are supposed to be on Jesus, and I am supposed to be doing what I know God wants me to do, and doing it with peace and joy.
I am learning how to not worry, but it is still a temptation.
As a mom, the biggest area worry tries to get me in is my kids.
Whether it be sickness, bad behavior, friends I don’t like, hearing sirens after they leave the house…no matter the source of worry, there is only one proper way for a Christian to handle it.
Give it to Jesus.
Easier said than done, right?
Well, it takes practice. I am still practicing, in a big way today.
Every time a thought of worry comes to my mind, I take it to God and I say, “I don’t want this, you can have it!”
I have had to do this over and over again in the last 24 hours, because it keeps trying to come back.
1 Peter 5:7, (AMP) says;
“Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares for you watchfully.”

Sometimes we have to do it many times before it becomes “once and for all”.
I am talking about worry here, but we can apply this to any area the enemy tries to trip us up in. Some people struggle with anger, fear, hopelessness, etc..
The truth applies to it all. If we cast it on Jesus…give it over to God, then we won’t have to stay in that place and can get our focus where it needs to be.
I determine to set my eyes on Jesus, so my focus can be on doing what I am called to do; be a good wife, mom and friend. Serve the Lord by seving others. Do my calling to the best of my ability, which is dependent on me focusing right.

When the temptation arises,
to turn my eyes another way,
I determine in my heart,
that I’ll give it to Jesus today.

Today I will cast all my cares,
my worries onto my Lord.
I will give them over and over again,
in this I’ll obey His word.

Then tonight when darkness falls,
I will pray upon my bed,
And thank the Lord for taking my worries,
peaceful sleep will come instead.

by: Jean Lockwood (2007)

Sometimes as a mom, I get so caught up in being mom, that I forget about myself. I forget that there is more of me than just “mom”.
In the midst of teaching my kids, taking them to appointments, cooking their meals, helping them with projects, taking them to youth group, putting them to bed, going for walks, doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking some more…
sometimes the rest of me seems to disappear.
Thank God for a husband and friends who remember that I am more than a “mom”.
Yesterday, a friend bought me some beautiful yellow roses. I was blessed.
My kids always give me hugs, and draw me pictures, or play me a new song on guitar…. and I treasure those things.
When my friend bought me flowers though, I was reminded that I am more than mom…but mom and wife are the most important aspects of my life right now.
I sometimes need a reminder to take care of the rest of me…not just the mom.
The rest of me loves to go out on dates with my wonderful husband.
The rest of me also loves to go for long drives in the country, again with Dan.
I also love to scrapbook with my friends….taking our family memories and putting them into something we can all enjoy.
I love a break from the mom routine once in a while.
But it all comes down to one thing…
When I am doing things for the rest of me, I am also doing those things for all of them…my kids and my husband.
You have probably heard the saying “If mama aint happy, aint nobody happy.”??
Well the opposite is also true; “If mama is happy, then everyone is happy.”
It has proven to be true here. If I take a break and get refreshed, letting the rest of me breathe for a while, then everyone else is happier because I am happier and am able to do my job as mom better.
If you are a mom, don’t feel guilty about being nice to yourself. When you treat yourself, you are treating them….to a happier mom and a happier home.

SOUNDS OF CHILDHOOD

Peanut butter faces, handprints on the wall.

I see them running through the house, playing with a ball.

All the sounds of childhood,

fill my home with lovely noise,

But someday they’ll grow up , move on,

Have their own little girls and boys.

So for now I will enjoy the ones God has given me.

I will count my blessings every day…….

For I am blessed indeed!

(written by: Jean Lockwood 1997)

Blessings, something we can so easily overlook or take for granted. Each day we see more blessings than we could count, but do we notice them? Do we take the time to appreciate a hug from a 7 year old? Do we listen and take the time to realize how blessed we are when a teenager actually has a converstion with us? Especially when they seem to enjoy it?
Do we count it joy, or a burden…when it is actually a blessing to be at the playground with our kids?
Are we always in such a hurry that we overlook the “little” things?
It is the little things that create memories that we will want to hold on to forever.
One my little blessings is sitting on my lap as I write this, he just woke up and is wanting to cuddle with mommy. I am thankful for this time, but how often have I taken the time to be thankful? These moments won’t last forever, I pray that I will have an awareness of each blessing today, and take the time to thank God for them.
God bless you today, and may He help you to see those blessings for what they are.

Jean

When asked by an assistant track coach,”Why are we even doing this??!!”, my daughter’s head coach replied, “To put our knowledge into bodies that work.”

Why am I doing what I am doing?
I am trying to impart knowledge and passion, into bodies and minds that will work to God’s glory.
In all we do as parents…(and granted, we are more than parents), in the role of being a parent, no matter what aspect we are dealing with (body, mind, spirit), we are imparting knowledge and passion one way or another. Even when we don’t think they are watching and learning from us, no let me rephrase that….ESPECIALLY when we don’t think they are watching and learning from us, they are watching closer than ever.
Have you ever seen your child do, or heard them say something, and you think, “Where on earth did they learn that from?” That is when a quick accessment is needed of our own influence.
Did I expose them to bad influence on TV?
Did I lose my temper and say something I wouldn’t normally say?
Did I blow something so far out of proportion that it created a mountain out of a molehill?
Did I brush off someone when I should have given them my attention?
A look in the mirror can sometimes be slightly painful, but it can also open up a new view of the things we see in our kids.
As a parent, it is my goal to show them the best way to be, not the hardest, worst way…but as a human being, I mess up.
I have had the experience of going to one child or another, and telling them I was wrong to act like that, or say this , or treat them in a certain way.
As hard as it is when I have to do this, it is well worth it when I see them react in love and forgiveness.
Why am I doing this mom thing?
I am doing it out of love.
Love for my children, but most of all my love for God.