Parenting and Religion

Sometimes it is hard to know exactly how open and honest to be with kids, especially when there are things that have the potential to scare them going on.
Two years ago at this time I was in that position.
It all started because I fell down some stairs and hurt my ribs. After I went for x-rays, I got a call from my doctor that he wanted me to go for a CT Scan because there was something not right in my lungs, like a spotty shadow. I thought the reason must be that some dust got on the x-ray film, so I was not the least bit concerned.
The day I went for the CT Scan, I was in my kitchen doing dishes and having some worship time (that is the norm…dishes, music, worship), and in a quiet moment, I felt as if God spoke to me and said “No matter what you hear, don’t be shaken!”. I wasn’t sure what it pertained to right then, because I hadn’t even been the least bit nervous. But then He said it again. After the second time, I picked up the phone and called Dan. I told him what I had heard, and he agreed with me right then in prayer that whatever was coming, we would not be shaken. We had no idea it had to do with my health.
Five days went by before we got a call from the Doctor. He told me he wanted me to see an Oncologist. I didn’t even know what one of those was, so I looked it up online.
Wow! Was I shocked when I saw the word “Cancer”!
I took a deep breath and then prayed, reminding the Lord that He told me not to be shaken, so I would hang onto that word from Him, believing that He knows the end from the beginning.
As time and MANY tests went on, Dan and I held onto the word to not be shaken.
When the doctor (the cancer doctor) told us that she thought I had one of three things, and in the order of possibility, they were in this order:
1)Lymphoma
2)Ovarian Cancer
3)Sarcoidosis (A benign auto-immune disease)
Because of our faith in what we believe God had spoke to our hearts, we were able to remain steady and not get fearful. Whenever one of us was in the place of beginning to be afraid, the other would remind them to not be shaken.
We decided that because of all the tests and doctor visits that we had to at least tell our older kids what was going on. How much to tell them and how honest to be were the hard decisions.
When we prayed about it, we both felt that we could be completely honest about what the doctor had said, but also rely on God to protect them from fear. When we told them there was a possibility I had cancer, we also told them what we believed was a word from the Lord, to not be shaken.
After more tests, a biopsy, and the removal of one fallopian tube, we found out I had Sarcoidosis…totally benign. Praise God!!!
That though is not the biggest miracle to me.
While I was going through this, we had asked for prayer at church. I was updating them almost every week, and had said the word “cancer” many time.
When I shared the diagnosis and prognosis at church, all 4 of my older kids came up to me after and said “We didn’t know they thought you had cancer!”
I was then amazed by the goodness of God, and how He protected them from fear by not letting them hear that word. He put a sheild around their hearts and minds, so they COULD NOT be shaken.
Dan and I saw a side of the Grace and Mercy of God we had not known before, and the confidence we can have in Him to protect our kids from hearing things that have the potential to shake their faith has become a most important part of our prayer for our kids.
God is Good…. All the time!!!

I have learned, probably as much from my kids as they have from me….(but please don’t tell them!).

When Joe was a baby (21 years ago), I learned how to fall in love with the littlest things, and how to see things for the first time all over again. Seeing him study and appreciate little things such as newly fallen leaves, it gave me a new sense of wonder.

When my second (Katie) came along, I found out that it is possible to love more than one child, and not lose any of the love you have for the first one. That was my fear, that I wouldn’t love her enough, and she would take away from my love for Joe. I found out that not only does the heart make room for more love, but love keeps on growing.

When Shawn was about 4, I learned that even in the midst of the tragedy of a favorite toy that broke (a ceramic stuffed clown), joy can be found by looking inside to see how it was made. Sometimes other things that don’t seem to go our way need to be examined more closely, to see what they were really made of..that was a big and painful lesson, that tears can be turned to laughter.

When Rachel was born, I learned to trust my istincts (yes, I should have learned that by then…but some of us are not so fast!). All of the rest of us were sick with the flu when she was just one month old. When I got her up in the morning, something was just not right. She didn’t feel feverish, but her color was off and she moaned when I picked her up. I took her in to be seen, and she ended up spending a week in the hospital with RSV. I hesitated to take her because she wasn’t coughing or feverish…but if I hadn’t she could have died. Thank God for giving us mom’s that instinct (which I personally believe is the Holy Spirit leading and speaking to our hearts) that lets us know when something is not right.

When I had Danny, I learned that God does indeed have a sense of humor. One morning when I was about 3 months pregnant, I was having some praise and worship time while I washed the dishes. I got quiet for a moment, and was sure God spoke to my heart that this baby was going to be a “double blessing”. So of course, I thought I was going to have twins. I called my husband and told him what I had just felt, and he got really excited. (we always wanted twins, until the last one…but that’s another story). Anyhow, when I had the ultrasound, there was only one baby in there. We still felt as if that feeling were true, this baby was going to be a double blessing. Well, the day we had Danny we found out why. He was the size of two babies, 12 lbs. 5 oz.!! Double size…double blessing…ok God, you made us laugh!!

Troy taught me that it is ok to give hugs even if you are angry. He has a little temper, yet is loving no matter what. We are working on helping him to control himself when angry, and he is working on not getting angry to the point of tears. Hugs help a lot, and turn the situation around so you can see from the inside a little.

Andy is still teaching me what it will be like to not have any more babies. It is not all bad, I am rather enjoying being out of baby mode- as long as I get a fix once in a while..(thank God for friends who let me hold their babies or grandbabies once in a while!) Andy helps me see things from a child’s perspective. I think it is easier for me with him, because I don’t have another baby I have to concentrate on.

Proverbs 10:22 says “The blessing of the Lord makes one rich and He adds no sorrow with it.”

My children are truly a blessing from the Lord, and though we may have seasons of sorrow, the joys are what we choose to dwell on, and they are what bring the richness to life. Sometimes sorrow may seem bad, but when we allow the sorrows of life to bring joy, they turn themselves around.

God Bless You,
Jean

For my first post I would like to introduce myself and tell a little about my family.
I am Jean, and have been married to the love of my life, Dan, for almost 27 years. He is a Pastor in our little village, and the calm in my storm.
Dan and I have 7 great kids. Joe is almost 21, Katie is 18 and married to Andrew, Shawn is 16, Rachel is 13, Danny is 10 (next week), Troy is 7, and little Andy is 4.
I am truly blessed, and at times maybe slightly stressed. I am going to be as honest as I know how to with these posts, and saying I get stressed is honest. I also need to say that the ways I handle stress is more important than the fact that I get stressed.
Dan and I homeschool the kids, and have done so for almost 14 years. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
As you can probably tell, our house is busy, and noisy. My husband likes to call it “The house that never sleeps!”.
When we are all asleep at the same time, it doesn’t last long.
Dan gets up very early (ok, it is really in the middle of the night!) to go to his secular job. When he gets up, sometimes our oldest is just going to bed. So I guess we do have “The house that never sleeps”.
Thank you for allowing me to share my family with you.

Hi everyone. I am new here, and getting used to the way things run. Kind of like parenthood- always something new to learn.
Yesterday I did it one way, tomorrow it may be another. Each child is different, as is each day.
The circumstances will not run me though.
I am armed and ready to control them….
OK, who am I kidding??!!
I have been a parent for almost 21 years, and I still don’t know it all. But I know the one who does, and I think I have learned some things along the way. I hope to be encouraging and offer hope, joy, and laughter to your lives with my own experiences. (although I may also borrow experiences from friends…with permission of course.)
God Bless You,
Jean